I truly believe that we all have some lifelong struggles, issues that NO MATTER WHAT will plague us through life... Entering my fourth decade of life, I am pretty sure that I know mine. PATIENCE, TOLERANCE, and SYMPATHY.
All three are amazing qualities, that for one reason or another are a struggle. The funny part is that while I struggle with these, they go hand in hand, and the struggle itself seems perpetuated by my very life, and it's just flat out annoying!
When my husband was in Korea, we were surrounded by Navy Sub people - and it got SO tiresome hearing wives complaing "my husband is going to be gone for three months". Really? Big freaking deal! We were in the midst of a year seperation, without the benefit of combat pay - we played by the rules, and were getting screwed, and yet i had to be nice, smile, and put up with that? Seriously? Some of those people literally withdrew to their basements and did little more than watch tv, grocery shop, and breathe the whole time their husbands were gone!
So, we decided if we were going to get screwed by the system, we may as well play the system to whatever advantage we could - we moved to Korea, without command blessing, and extended, to at least get ONE year together before what we were sure was a deployment on the horizon. Dream on. The guys spent SO much time in the field - but honestly, it was ok. The tempo of our life that year was pretty much that daddy was home for a week or two, and then left for a month - - but we adjusted, as those left behind often do. To this day some of my closest friendships are the ones fostered during "field time"...
We are fortunate, there is no deployment immediately on our horizon (much to Mr. Awesome's chagrine)... and that's great. I REALLY appreciate him being here to see all of Lil' Dude's firsts. But, with his job, inevitably there are times when he will be gone, and most likely for more than a day or two - - here's where my patience, tolerance, and sympathy struggle comes in again... I accept he has to be gone, it sucks, but oh well... that is the nature of the career that WE chose. I too have a small child here at home, and an 8 year old, I have soccer, girl scouts, and every other kid thing going on. I have to maintain the house, and make sure there is food in the fridge... that's fine. great.
Do NOT complain to me that your husband is gone for maybe a couple of days. Do NOT complain to me about how hard it is at home with a baby (been there doing that for the past year). I jokingly requested a Mommy Breakation - but let's be realistic - there is none. I mean, for God's sake, I don't even get to bathe or use the bathroom in any other manner by myself... and no, i won't check into a hotel for the weekend - I would actually miss my kids. (let alone, i would NOT know what to do with myself if I were to actually have to function as an adult again)...
As I said before, we are lucky here. Mr. Awesome in all honesty is NOT gone that much... Way less than in other assignments, and let's not even compare to a deployment, as we all know there is no comparison. But please, don't complain that your husband might not be home tonight. In the big scheme of things, what is ONE night, heck what is THREE weeks, when it could be so much worse. But for the Grace of God go I, because so easily, I could be one of those military spouses whose husband never comes home.
I am lucky. Now I just need to be patient, tolerant of others, and learn sympathy for their plights....
Definetly a work in progress
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